Why did the snail paint a giant S on his car?             Did you hear about the light that got arrested?
So when he drove by, people could say:                      It went to PRISM.
“Look at that S car go!”                         

What word can you make shorter                I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon.
by adding two letters?      SHORT.                                             I'll let you know.          .
                                                                  

An American couple are driving through Canada and stop at a gas station to fuel up.
As the man goes into the station to pay, his wife calls out to him, “ask them where we are!”
So the husband walks in, pays and asks, “by the way, where are we?”
To which the attendant answers, “Saskatoon, Saskatchewan.”
The man goes back to his car and the wife asks, “where are we?”
He looked at her and shrugged, " He doesn't speak English."